Fear is one of the biggest hindrances in things we do in life. I remember I was sending my auntie to the airport and during our journey, I tried to ask her questions about her business since she owns a business and doing very well in life.
She told me not to fear anything in things that we do. Even sometimes we see negative things lie ahead of us, fear not because it is nothing but something we imagine in our head to be real.
F - False
E - Evidence
A - Appearing
R - Real
My mum also made it a point to support my studies in Australia, even though she was not earning a lot more money. Of course, she did not go and cheat or rob the bank for more money.
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In case you do not know, 70% of the people on earth today is actually angry with something. Are you one of them? Are you angry with someone or something?
If I tell you that I am among the 30% - who is not angry with anything - I am telling you a lie. I, too, am angry with something and often it is myself for not getting the things done.
When you are being offended, you are likely to get angry and it is close to impossible not to get offended in our everyday life. The subordinates that never get their work done, your friends that discourage you, family members not being supportive, your spouse not being very understanding or people bad mouth about you in the office.
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I remember so well asking a girl out for an outing or a date, whatever you call it. She said okay on the phone and 10 minutes before we met, her friend brought brought her away and as a result, we did not meet at the end.
Disappointments. Who has not been disappointed? How do we handle it?
In order to handle disappointments, you will need to understand this universal principle. Being disappointed or feeling defeated is a temporary condition but giving up is what it makes it permanent.
I know those who are successful, they made it in things that they do because they never dwell in their disappointments. They move on. They continue to fight and refuse to make giving up a permanent thing to them.
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How often do you worry about the clothes you need to wear, the food you need to eat or the drink you need to take in your life? It is perfectly normal if you have this kind of worry.
However, if you do not know how to deal with your worry or anxiety, they will take away your energy and you will find it very difficult to stay in an empowering state.
Somebody describes worry as a rocking chair. You have something to do but you cannot walk.
Here are the findings of a research being done. An average person’s anxiety is focused on the following:
40% - things that will never happen
30% - things about the past that cannot be changed
12% - things about criticism by others, mostly untrue
10% - about health, which gets worse with stree
8% - about real problems that will be faced
Therefore, the source of your worries can be concluded in one word - Problems.
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One of the attributes of human nature is this - we are more than conquerors. This is why you motivation speakers often use the terms ‘unleash your potential’, ‘awaken the giant within’, ‘don’t even listen to your own critical voice’, ‘you can do it’ or ‘it births greatness within you’.
Potentials and greatness are already in each and everyone of us. In fact, we are more than conquerors.
If this is the case, why would people choose to run away when they face problems in life? It is because it is the easier way out. Playing the role as a victim often makes us feel better about ourselves and tend to put the blame on others. I did this so many times too.
A close friend of mine used to have a really bad attitude towards things happening to him in life. Not only that he remembers the past hurts and even he has positive experiences, he does not see it as something good to him.
He had the ability and energy to complain and blame others. However, he spent his effort on the wrong purpose. If he had the energy to complain, why did not he use the same energy to conquer the problem instead?
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Recently I have been appointed to be the assistant leader to lead a group of 200 hundred people. Whenever my leader is not around, I will have to take the lead to motivate them and keep them stay strong.
One of my biggest challenges is the inability to lead them to cheer for the group. It means, I will have to shout FIRST before they do. I have to lead them to shout as loud as possible, in order to make the group of 200 people look united and strong.
I often tried to avoid taking the lead and if there is a chance that I could possibly find someone else to lead the cheer, I would ask him to do for me.
As a result of my fear to shout in front of the crowd, my team performance is going down people even say that our team is the lousiest team among the rest.
I was so disappointed. It was not because of my team that looked weak or their inability to shout, but it was my fear to take the lead. The whole team went down just like that.
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A possibility thinker must be able to imagine.
I remember seeing 3 siblings who shared with me about their big dream. When I say big, I mean it is really big. The eldest brother told me about what they are going to achieve, how they are going to achieve it and the outcomes of the achievement.
Imagination, then, is the preview of your future.
I was stunned. As young as they are, they already have a big dream even many young or working adults do not dare to dream about. I see the difference and sincerity in them and I truly believe that it will come true.
The ability to imagine is far more greater than anything else a human could possess. It gives a person a direction where he wants to go. The mobile phone you are using today, the portable laptop you are carrying today and the jumbo jet that is flying on air today are the results of people’s imagination.
Helen Keller, the first deafblind person who graduated from college, said this. “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision”. She did not have sight, as she was deafblind but she had a vision that led her to graduate from college.
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How do you achieve in anything you want in life? There are a lot of answers to this question and the very first step you need to take is to be a possibility thinker.
Believing is a state of mind before it is a state of heart. This simply means whatever you think in your mind, it will come true.
“Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can’t, You Are Right” - Henry Ford
If you think that you cannot afford to buy a bungalow in this lifetime, then most likely you are not going to have one. However, when you ask yourself, ‘How can I afford to buy a bungalow?”, instead of saying, “I can’t afford it”, then the whole system and patterns of your action will change immediately.
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Wow, this is a big thing. Most people know they should but they just wouldn’t change. Why bother changing an attitude? It is because this is the only way to adopt successful strategies and be like them.
The real secrets only lie in 6 R’s. Let’s take a look at each one of them.
1. Review
This is the very first step and the most important step. This is the step where you identify your problem in terms of your thinking and behaviour. Often it is easier to take it if you identify the problems yourself rather than a person telling you what you need to do.
So, do a review on your own. What did I do wrong the past week? Which area of my life I did not do well? What was the cause when such problem persisted?
You will be surprised when you identify these problems. Don’t feel bad when you know you are weak in certain areas. All of us is weak in a particular area, as long as we know how we should work on it.
You may ask the people around you if you can take it and you must ask from a credible source. You wouldn’t want to ask how you can become a millionaire from a guy whose profession is cleaning the toilet.
2. Resolve
Now that you have identified your problems and it is time for you to make up your mind and decide firmly that you want to make a change in your attitude.
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There are 3 qualities of an excellent character in a person. So if you want to be excellent, adopt these qualities and you are one.
1. Having A Great Sense of Responsibility
The foundation of character is the acceptance of responsibility. Let’s say you are a the head in the marketing department and your boss has given you a task to conduct a marketing campaign for the latest jewelry items of your company.
So obviously you need to assign different tasks to different sub-ordinates in your department. Some are doing the write-ups, some are editing the graphics and design, some are doing the banner, some are doing the printing or some are even promoting the new jewelry items.
Let’s say your designer is dragging his part and as a result, it becomes impossible to meet the deadline, what would you do? Is it your fault or your sub-ordinate’s fault?
You see, when you boss acknowledge the problem, he would not go to your sub-ordinate but to you alone. It is truly the manager’s (your) reponsibility to ensure everything go well on track.
So if you tell your boss it is not your fault but your sub-ordinate’s fault, he would not be able to accept it. Imagine if you were the boss, you wouldn’t accept any excuse like that too.
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